Very Bad hair day

As many of you women will already know the road to beauty and perfection is a long tiring and expensive one. With the added pressure of ensuring that my children are dressed cleaned and looking fairly presentable I am currently the last on the list of maintenance in this house.
So my hair is now demanding immediate attention.. The roots are showing so badly that you could question if it has ever seen scissors let alone hair dye.
Right, as the monthly budget has been stretched to beyond its limit there is no use looking there for help.. One thing for it, it’s gonna have to be a home highlighter kit. Against advice of the man and friends ( I am cringing as I Type) How hard can it be methinks??
I wait for a man free evening with the kids tucked up in bed for my moment to strike.. I proceed to remove wand from packaging and mix the peroxide.. Extra courage is needed so I present myself with a glass of chardonnay to help me along the way.. Here we go…
Halfway through I get adventurous believing I have actually missed my calling as top colourist in trendy salon, I am confident enough to manage the whole of my head …big mistake - I drop splodges everywhere and have not been watching the time, was it half an hour ago or what? I don’t think that no pain no gain applies to hair colouring!
I quickly head for the bathroom cursing for doing this myself , as clearly the burning on my head cannot be a good sign. All washed and to my relief none of my barnet is away with the suds..
I towel dry and commence to blow-dry , on lifting my head to the mirror I am alarmed at the brightness of my hair, I deliberately leave hall light off as the rays from my hair are bright enough..
Keys In the door and the man is home.. For some reason I run for cover in the bedroom as the thought of the I told you so’s cannot be faced with grace at this present moment, I head for the Ghd’s and straighten within an inch of its life. There, okay slightly bright but passable.. I head for the kitchen and for judgement.
From the expression on The Man’s face it is not “ well what a success, you look fantastic!” more of a
“ Lord please remove me from this place as there has been carnage to this woman’s head and my comment could clearly mean carnage to mine!”
Ever the diplomat the man encoragly raises his eyebrows and smiles,
“ well I have always liked the retro look”
Smoothly I pour myself a large glass of wine and face the prospect of a month in a ponytail, sympathetic disapproving looks from friends and family and ultimately a complete mistake on my head.
Ever the optimist I convince myself that there has always got to me someone ready to start off a new trend.. And that any strange looks I will take as compliments. But somehow my son screaming at me on sight the next morning tells me otherwise…………