Sleep

Symptoms: Headache, Foot ache, Ringing in ears, Nauseous feeling in pit of stomach, loss of appetite and urge to retreat to duvet cover and hibernate.
Diagnosis: All symptoms are pointing to a heavy night out on the tiles, dancing - shouting to be heard , drinking too much Rose and then walking a mile and a half home in heels. I wish. Actually, the cause of my mysterious illness is not half as complex, or fun. Just Infant Sons new idea of routine that he no longer sees fit to adhere to.
I am starting to really believe that there is a huge conspiracy with Parenting… all the books say, children thrive on routine - that without one you will be a candidate for a visit from Super nanny, or worse if not nipped in the bud even guests on Jeremy Kyle! For five whole years I have agreed with this theory , my daughter was fantastic - in fact she responded so well to a structured day that I often mocked others at their complaints at tiredness and lack of control with a restless child… assuming that clearly they were not ensuring that the child was in a good routine. You could say I am getting payback now. Big time. I am clearly going to get a sleepless night for every time I thought my parenting skills were in the bag, that being the case I may never sleep again!
So at the moment I am cruising through my daily duties in complete daze. If interrupted from my daze I am likely to bite unsuspecting friend/child/relative’s head off whole and probably make a fair few enemies if something doesn’t change quick!
Yesterday morning even Infant son seemed to know that Mummy had issues, could have had something to do with the fact that I was attempting to spread butter on his weetabix…. The day before I had attempted to store up valuable sight energy helping my daughter dress with my eyes still closed, my backfired when I realised I had dressed her back into her Pj’s!!
My normal Patience threshold also seemed to play up today, too. My daughter singing the Lazy Town theme tune at the top of her voice which I can normally take as an endearing aspect of her personality, today seems to be jibbing at me like a woodpecker. I ask her quietly to please refrain from singing so loud - not hearing me she continues, I eventually say that she cannot sing again until bath time. The perplexed look I got back makes me wonder what kind of evil mother this sleep issue is turning me into.