Slummy Mummy

On a happy family picnic in (posh) Wimbledon park enjoying the bank holiday sunshine, looking forward to resting my bones while The Man takes control of the little soldiers, Sunday papers to the right of me and a cucumber sandwich to the left I opened a Sunday mag to flick though the celeb photos. Lucky for me the mag had decided to run the whole edition surrounding the Celeb Yummy Mummies! Fab.. I settle down to read.

First ‘GROOMED AND DOOMED’ preggy celebs ( the Doomed celebs looking better than I did during both pregnancies!) then YUMMY MUMMY V SLUMMY MUMMY followed by an article with good ole Katie Price….‘YOU HAVE TO BE A YUMMY MUMMY - OTHERWISE MEN LOSE INTEREST’ (An ad for Cosmetic surgery on the following page!)
well that’s nice.. Not much pressure there… flicking through I get more and more disheartened. An article going on to slate Mutya Buena for her post preg belly -mocking ‘ROUND ROUND BABY’ .
Lastly ‘I HAD MY BABY AND WAS AT HOME BY LUNCHTIME’ heading an interview of a well known WAG…okay then.

After all that I am about ready to run and drown myself in the nearby lido - Thank you very much MR/MRS magazine editor, you have really made my day…

Deciding to abort my mag read I turn to observe the Mummies in the park. Opposite I have classy mom,
All French tips and waif like wearing completely non practical kitten heels pushing infant on baby swing’s. What a lot she will need to learn before ‘Oscar’ starts walking - either that or get a nanny. On cue along comes a hippy version of Mary Poppins all clapping and over praising a snotty plaid dressed girl. While Hippy Poppins throws an over enthusiastic wave at group of other like dressed mothers/nannies dear snotty picks her nose. Lovely.

Resume reading methinks,
As I am about to consider rolling self up in picnic blanket and putting hamper on head I read a reply to someone on the agony aunt page… “It’s what’s on the inside that counts.” Laughing out load I go and join the kids.