Old Bag

Handbags are like friends, you can never have too many as you never know when one will let you down.

As well as knowing the more you invest the more likely you are to have a lasting friendship.

But I do understand I may be slightly odd in that I often talk to handbags as if they are real things - and often as though I expect a response.

Take today for example, leaving for the school run I am calling for her. My loyal leatheress, she is at least five years old now but a good buy. Never letting me down in the filling her up department. She is also known as my Mary Poppins bag. Many a problem has been solved by her amazing ability to hold such a huge volume of thingy’s. I discover her hiding by the couch. I ask her as to whether she is hiding my keys.

After a five minute root around and discarding the toddlers half empty packet of crisps inside I find keys with a Tampax hanging off. I then proceed to scold stupid bag for allowing that to happen. considering how embarrassing that could have been.

After dropping fellow bag crazy individual (daughter) to school I head into Croydon for some bit’s. Sadly no retail therapy allowed today due to lack of funds in account. The Man has wisely not reinstated my credit card claiming that it has slipped his mind. Methinks the man feels prevention is better than cure hence no card for me.

Heading into the bank, I gather her up for another chat as to the whereabouts of that cheque I am supposed to be depositing. She offers me many old receipts and school letters but is adamant that she has no clue about important cheque. I sit her down to discuss this only for her to throw a strop and vomit discarded make up and the like across the floor. I tell her she will never come out with me again - all of a sudden the cheque appears trapped in her side pocket. The minx.

We continue my errands in silence until the bus ride home, I need her help carrying (hiding!) a suspiciously new shoe sized box…

She’s not a bad old bag really.