Scales

Oh someone help me…

I have just been into my bathroom and done the most stupid thing.. Stood on the god damn scales.

Nothing like getting into a scalding bath, you might think, but to me- I may as well have… Seven whole pounds have jumped onto my body without me even noticing! Damn you legging’s and smock top’s.. how can you call it fashion if it allows you to put on seven pound’s without even noticing??!!! This would not happen if we were having a summer of skinny jeans, oh no, this time last year my Jeans would stop me breathing if I gained half a pound let alone a whole SEVEN.

I am resigned to the fact that I may have to settle myself in the larger lady aisle from now on because I just cannot face a diet. Healthy eating yes but I may have difficulty with that too AS I THOUGHT I WAS DOING THAT ALREADY!?!

I blame all the preggy celebs for this. If it were not for them getting chubby, the Fashion bod’s would not have accommodated them by allowing these smocks in anyway.
I am going to have to breath now for a moment.. Don’t know if it is the rant or the extra weight I am carrying that has made me out of breath..

I am once and for all going to remove the scales from the bathroom and bin them. It is a joke… just a few moments ago I was content with myself (a rare moment) and in that glee I felt confident putting my trotters on scales just to see..
Into the bin they go, as do my smock tops .. Okay that is a bit hasty, I may need them. I retrieve smocks to see they are covered in infant son’s discarded avocado leftovers. .. Oh joy.

I invite pal over to help devour remains of Galaxy Bar in fridge to take mind off pending obesity. Then dance around the front room to Sing star.. Mucho fun, and no chafing- waving pal off I feel cheery and even consider digging scales out to see the damage. Covered now with more yuck, I think not. I feel at a loss…

Note to self…. buy new Scales tomorrow.