Recovering

Okay, I am getting quite lost in my new Profession. This career change has not worked out to be as smooth a transition as I had planned. Now I had hoped in my training to be Yummy that I would come across some sort of guide to being a mother, you know top tips to succeed. Well I haven’t, and by the day it seems that I am in continuous recovery. Let me explain..
I was a teenage mum, you know, the classic (I think) been dating guy for while - think that I am invincible of the pregnancy disease only to discover pregnancy can be caught by sitting on dodgy chair. Only kidding, obviously I was not careful enough and low and behold my life was turned upside down.
My beautiful daughter arrives and Her Dad decides to go. Tragic, no afraid not, pretty standard I would say.
Any way as I emerged as a new teenage- single- mother, there was light at the end of that subway for me… I like to think I became a “recovering” teenage mother, growing and embracing the role that I had decided to enlist myself to. I became slightly wiser and could finally ditch the “teenage” off my title, but not yet the stigma as I still looked quite young. Right, so I became the Single mum, working full time thankfully and making my way though the first years of my daughters life.. Time moves on and it comes about, that the time is right to recover from my singlemotherdom and look towards a growing new relationship with The Man himself….great, am no longer teenager, am no longer single am now credible mother? Don’t be silly Now my title is step-mum. Am I destined to always be a double barrelled mother??
So during all this you would think that though my need to prove myself, by reading up on half the parenting books ever known to Croydon Library by gaining my step son and ultimately by going to the cabbage patch again through choice, that I would have half a clue to what this full time motherhood requires.
Nope, only that whatever it means I want to love , care and educate them… but by also staying trendy sassy and not beyond my years, therefore a tad Yummy.
Do you know I am actually perking myself up, that has got to be a sign of maturity?
So is my quest for yummy hood all a sad cover up for the fact that I have “Missed out” or that I am “Making up for lost materialistic youth”? should I allow myself to aim for another double barrelled existence to recover from?
Yeah why not!! Better to regret something you’ve done and all that, while ballet slippers are still in fashion and pointy boots still fit under the buggy I have got give it a go.