I cannot contain my excitement…the children have gone back to school! Quiet days will return and I can have the telly back for my chat shows. As I snuggle down for my morning coffee I notice that I am resting my mug on something unfamiliar. Almost having a heart attack I realise I have managed to attach a rather decent sized spare tyre of chub around my waist.
I am not sure how it got there, or where it came from, I just assume that the ‘fat fairies’ came to visit me during the festive period and unlucky for me I had not noticed them attaching it, being far too busy with my mince pie munching. It is only now in the cold light of the new year that I have caught the horrifying sight. .
Okay, I am not going to panic. To shift this new found friend of mine I guess I will have to have a couple of lifestyle changes.
Number one - to rid this flat of all selection boxes, sweeties wrapped in coloured foil along with any other festive nibbles that might be lurking.
Number two - Start getting some exercise as lifting remote towards telly is no longer being classed as strenuous movement (apparently).
And Number three not allowing the devilish creamy taste of a certain liqueur to pass my lips for at least another year. Trust me that will be harder than it sounds.
By the end of the afternoon I have managed most of the first lifestyle change. Using a repeating pattern of eat one choc/bin one choc I get through the unwanted nibbles pretty quick. Okay I had intended for them to all go in the bin but waste not want not - there is no need to throw away decent chocolate, especially as my body will be a chocolate free zone for the next year. Eating a box in front of the box can hardly make it much worse..??
I am impressed that by the time the man arrives home from work that I am up to date with all my soaps and programmes.
To celebrate the last evening of slobbing, I decide to finish it off with my creamy liqueur as the perfect ending.
By bedtime my spare tyre is left full to the brim, and admittedly feels quite cosy.
Lifestyle changes two and three? They start tomorrow...
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