On yer bike buddy.

In the mans quest to become the yummy man, he has bought himself a bike. With fuel costs rocketing it may reduce his blood pressure as well as save a few quid. I am in full support of this health kick until he attempts to kick me with it too.

As we are free of children, toddler at nursery and daughter darling playing at a friends, he somehow persuades me to take the bike out for a ride. Okay, it has been a fair few years since I have cycled (unless back pedalling counts), but I agree that a ride to get the paper wont kill me and could in fact do me some good. Although I am disappointed that there is no bell.

After trying to mount the damn thing for five minutes, once I am finally on the man advises me that trainers may be more suitable for the task. I kick off my kitten heels, and send him in for my pumps. Now that I am on I am damned if I am getting off. He returns and kindly fit’s the yellow shoes to my feet.

It would have helped if he had adjusted the seat and I could reach the floor - but I wont worry about that for now. Without wanting to admit it I am actually having fun, so instead of stopping at the shop as planned I decide to carry on for a while. Being that I live right next to Lombard roundabout this was probably not the wisest decision that I have ever made.

Reaching the junction I realise that I truly am out of practice, while pushing on the brakes I forget to put my feet down to the floor. Stupid I know, but as I was more concerned at getting squashed by a truck or something I chose the less life threatening option. I promptly fall to the side and clunk my noggin on the pavement. What is worse, much, much worse is that I have grazed both knees. How I managed this I am unsure due to squeezing my eyes shut on impact.

I am not happy. I knew there was a reason you cannot pedal in kitten heels, that is simple because I was never meant to ride a bike. Give me a packed bus any day.

Struggling my way back halfway up the road I flick the gears to see if it makes any difference. All of a sudden the peddles start spinning extra fast and in a panic I fall off again. I assume that I look a state as I see a group of teenagers sniggering at me across the road. Tears are pricking my eyes now, and I just want to get home.
Thankfully I arrive back at the flat without further ado.

So much for this health kick buisness, the only kick around here will be aimed at the man.

Might wait till the knees are healed first..