Big Brothers

Having two older brothers I have often wondered what it would be like to have a sister. As a small girl I remember wishing that I had a female sibling to play Barbie with and swap make up tips. Now an adult I still find myself with the same wish. Okay, I have moved on from my Barbie dolls and mastered my own little make up routine nicely, but I would like to have a sister around to have an argument with now and again or to talk about my brothers with.

As my brothers are fairly older than me ( approx 10 year age gap) I have always felt one step behind. While they were 1980’s teenagers going to see Duran Duran I was still more interested in my skipping rope. By the 1990's I was a vile teen with attitude while they decided to become smug marrieds. Now I am married and they are settled thirty something’s, I don’t feel the same need to catch up as I once did. You could say the tables are turning. The glamour of being the in the same league as my brothers is not so appealing, being that they are now closer to 40 than they are thirty. Hah ha. My time has come. While they are considering mid life crisis I can still listen to chart music without being labelled as “sad”. I can still act irresponsibly ( within reason ) and blame it on my immaturity. But best of all I can now voice my adult(ish) opinions on the world and they have to listen.

This leads me to a recent conversation with my middle bro. Before I knew what was happening I began giving him relationship advice. Me. The baby of the family was now old enough to tell her big bro what is what and where he needs to go. By the end of the conversation I am a bit bewildered.

For years I had imagined what it would be like to be the one with the answers, but instead of an amazing feeling of joy I sat feeling sad. I have finally realised that although I had always wanted to be up there with the big boys I hadn’t realised that if I actually was then I wouldn’t have that same safety blanket of silence that I had previously hated. Looking up to them all my life I realised that I never really wanted it to be any different otherwise they just become normal. I am now not so sure I want to see my fantastic amazing brother as just normal..

With a few moments of refection I decide that with opinion comes reasonability, I guess I had never considered that before.

I suppose there are some advantages of only having brothers. They never borrow any of my good dresses, ruin my make up or wreak my lovely shoes. Well, not yet anyway....