Wax Work

Much to the man’s dismay I have given up the razor. My leg’s now resemble a bears and as for the other area, Sherwood forest does spring to mind. I have decided to let it grow not due to the sub zero temperature’s of late, or because we are too poor for new razors. Simply I am growing to prepare for the waxing of my life.

Once upon a time, way before either of my little cherub’s came along, I was a compulsive waxer. The saying “no pain, no gain” was my mantra and waxing was a monthly affair. Then the pitter patter of tiny feet arrived, as a result so did the razor blade. Pain no longer appealed after labour and shaving commenced. I ignored the fact that I had started to wear trousers more often to avoid doing that too, but once daughter darling asked if I was ever going to wear ladies clothes again I had to face facts, having fuzz was not a good look.

After a month of preparation and intense growth I am now ready. Tonight is the night and the bathroom door is locked. The man under strict instruction to avoid all interruption unless in event of a fire.

I apply the microwave wax ( recommended by friend ) to leg No. 1 Smoothing down the fabric strip I begin a breathing technique usually associated with childbirth. Counting down from three I let rip. Completely involuntary, a howl escapes from my mouth similar to a beaten animal. Composing myself after almost losing consciousness I go in for strip No. 2, reassuring self that it will not be so bad second time. The rip - howl routine continues for a further two before the man is knocking at the door.

I inform him that all is well and that I am just doing impressions of a werewolf in jest. Wiping stress tears away I proceed to do the rest biting on a towel. I do not recall previously the pain being this bad at the beauty salon concluding that self wax (harm) really is not the way to go. Forty minutes later I exit the bathroom with one de- fuzzed leg and very red face.

From now on I am leaving the waxing to the professionals and keeping the razor at the ready, although I may need some garden shears first!