Xmas 'Do'

Whoop whoop! The party season is here at last…. The stress of fitting into a bikini for another year is behind me. Now the task is to fit my behind into a fancy party dress or three. Hardy, ha.

I love Christmas parties, it is just The Man’s work party that is the tough one. After a stressful run up finding something that fits, I need to then consider my survival tactic to get through the night. I know a few faces with which I can pass the time for a bit, but once they start talking The Job their voices all seem to morph into one. All I can do is nod and drink complimentary booze to maintain interested expression with strangers and numb the boredom.

I find nodding and drinking combination tends to be a winner for the first hour, but by the second (and a few kind glasses of wine courtesy of Big Boss) I can no longer control the urge to talk, or worse, sing, much to the Mans dismay.

Being the youngest wife doesn’t help either. Okay we have children in common but that is where the similarities end, I don’t think they approved of my retro rock chic attire last year. (to be fair I would have been quite scared of my make up too)

At the previous party I had to clamp own hand over mouth to prevent performing a rendition of ‘I will survive’ just to entertain myself. After restraining for an hour it finally all got too much and lead to me jabbering total rubbish in Big Boss’s ear about shoes. Only when he made his excuses did I realise that stilettos might not be his ’thing’. I then proceeded to find a dark corner and pretend to be busy with my mobile, while really I was I accidentally erasing my phonebook.

As long as I avoid drinking too much alcohol and sticking to safe subjects like weather all will be well. And my numbers safe.

I ponder what to wear on my way to meet the man from work. Typical I bump into one of the wives outside. I explain am on my way to drag the man shopping for the Christmas ‘do‘.
In all seriousness she leans towards me and whispers. “ well just remember it won’t be fancy dress this year..” walking away with a sympathetic smile.

I will survive.