Siren

After reading really pessimistic book about men and marriage I have decided to bring some va va voom back into The Mans life, whether he likes it or not. I have managed to get kids in bed, tidy away evidence of children and bath self with still an hour to spare before his arrival. Usually by this point I am already counting down minutes to bedtime!

Now don’t get me wrong the Man seems to be very content in his life/Marriage with me at the moment, but after my read on bad adulterous men I decide that prevention is better than cure.. Out comes tight fitted (flattering) clothing and I apply make up as if I am auditioning for Playboy mansion.

Okay I then put on oil burners (for mood) and await unsuspecting hubby’s arrival….

To give myself that extra spark I decide to start on the wine as only 25 mins to kill. Gulping half a glass I feel confident that I will be siren tonight for Hubby’s delight..

Throwing self on the sofa and finishing glass I close eyes for just a little moment sure that I will not fall asleep. I must be dreaming when the next thing in my ear is daughters voice .. “MOMMY! Breakfast pleeeeassssseeee”

Lord help me… Hubby arrived home to find me dead to the world empty wine glass in hand impersonating a Lush. He goes on to tell me that on his attempt to wake me from my happy slumber he received a grunt in reply, adding that he had never seen someone so beautiful snore so much like a truck driver. ahhhh. My snores had made it quite difficult for him to sleep, Whoops.

I stick to usual routine the following night of cosying up on couch in Pj’s.. not quite the siren look I had hoped for but on The Man’s arrival home me being awake has got to be a plus. I ditch the pessimistic book and vow to shower hubby with stimulating conversation instead. After five minutes I hear a grunt and a snore, it’s payback. I spent the rest of night with pillow over head.

Stupid Book.